So the annual Tori Party Rally kicks off in Birmighof this week. This is expected to be the biggest Rally in the parties history and is forecast to be even bigger than the Tori Party Rallies of the 1930′ s in Nuremberg with thousands of loyal Tori’s attending. Organised and overseen by the parties secret police The Grey Suits, there promises to be a lot of flag waving and mass adoration of their glorious Fuhrer C a Moron and Deputy Fuhrer Chancellor Von Ossburne.
Von Ossburne will speak on the ‘it’s the economy stupid’. blaming, as usual, the previous administration for all the ills besetting the country and reinforcing his point that the recession was caused by their massive spending on welfare and good works and nothing to do with the bankers and sub-prime lending. He is also expected to announce massive tax cuts for those earning over £300,000 a year and an increase in taxes for the lower paid thereby ‘making hard work pay‘.
Head of The Grey Suits Reichsfuhrer I D Schmitt is expected to give a speech on the promise to ‘Eliminate Poverty’ by eliminating the poor. He will state that the poor, sick, disabled, jobless and the homeless will slowly be eradicated by the withdrawal of benefits, dismantling of the Welfare state and amending the bedroom tax to cover bedrooms in ALL houses worth less than £250,000, thereby forcing people into ‘special centres’ (previously called food banks) which will be extended by building barracks to ‘especially to house the less fortunate members of society’. With this move he hopes to increase the rate of people starving to death, cutting billions of pounds from the deficit in a single stroke.
Frau Von Maykle, the ReichMinister for Home Affairs will speak on the need for greater crowd control, in the case of riots breaking out, with rubber bullets, tear gas, water cannon and if necessary machine guns to be used in policing future disturbances. In a pre-rally press release she pledged to repeal the gay marriage act claiming it was forced on the party by ‘dangerous left wing elements of the present coalition.’ and further reduce the rights of LGBT people ‘unless they conformed to the rules of The New Society and gave up being gay or having sex changes on the NHS, which cost the country a small fortune’ ..
Fuhrer C a Moron will wind up the rally, calling on the party faithful to ‘go forth and spread the gospel of Toriism’ throughout the length and breadth of the land. He is also expected to announce that the party WILL win an overall majority at the next election ‘by all and every means possible’. even if this meant banning all MP’s from north of the border from sitting in Westminster and forming an alliance with Herr Furryage leader of the extreme ‘extreme right party’. He will also promise to extend the future life of parliament by calling a general election every ten years as the the current five year term will not give enough time to bring his proposed reforms into being and launch a glorious 1000 years of Tori utopia . These further reforms will be announced shortly.
terainahird 